I know that every single one of you reading this has felt insecure about your body at some point in your life. For me, it really started when I was younger due to my eczema. I used to have it really bad. Rashes would break out on my arms, under my knees, all over my hands, sometimes even may face. Kids on the playground would point it out and ask what was wrong with me. I also went through a slightly chunky phase as a kid (now looking back, I realize that almost everyone goes through this chunky phase, but you never realize that as a kid!) so I ended up wearing baggy clothes, long sleeves and jeans for years and years. I remember this moment at the end of 5th grade when I was like “I gotta shape up for Middle School. Let’s revisited my style!” and out of the blue swapped from baggy t-shirts to a halter top one day. Mind you, halter tops were very against my school’s dress code, but my teacher was so flabbergasted that I suddenly dressed differently (and let’s be real, much better) that she didn’t write me up and instead showered me with praise. This was the first time it clicked that I have been feeling really insure about myself for years, but maybe I was wrong.
Fast forward to now and my eczema is barely present anymore (cheers to growing out of it!) and my body weight has been pretty stable for the last 5 years…minus the semester I lived in Italy and brought back home 30 extra pounds of pizza weight. Totally worth it. This consistency has lead to two important things: I realized that unless I drastically change my lifestyle either way (as in start working out or start to eat 100% shit food) I’m probably doing to stay this same shape and size until age catches up. I also realized that having curves is, despite what mainstream media likes to tell us, a wonderful thing. At age 15 I was trying to squeeze into size mediums to not feel fat and these days I’m shouting from the rooftops to thousand of readers like you each day that I’m a size large and that’s ok. There is nothing like starting a fashion blog and taking photos of yourself everyday in dresses like this one from Primp to finally see that you’re hot (yup, tooting my own horn there, sorry not sorry).
I’ve also learn over the years that people don’t notice a fraction of what you think they notice. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own bubble and wondering if you notice their insecurities, that they aren’t really paying attention to yours. I used to feel very uncomfortable in a swimsuit, and now every time we got to a pool or a beach I’m strutting my stuff and posing like a model in front of whoever happens to be there. I carry most of my weight in my stomach/middle area and I used to feel like everyone was always thinking I must be pregnant, but now i hardly every think that when I get dressed in the morning – but I still sometimes do because hey, I’m human. A human who sometimes eats an entire pizza by herself so it’s legit question to ask sometimes.
If you are reading this and feel bad about your body, I want you to know that life is way better when you aren’t obsessing over how you look and what others are thinking of you all the time. I encourage you to take small steps to learning to love yourself. Try taking a selfie in the mirror everyday as an affirmation you are beauty. Maybe it’s buying a new outfit that’s a size up (aka your true size) so you don’t feel like you’re being squeezed into clothes all day long. Or try a new lipstick color, or a new haircut. Tiny things that make you feel pretty add up to making you feel beautiful. It’s a journey, not a quick quick mindset, but I believe in you!
Love your curves!
This FAB floral dress is from Primp – shop it HERE. I’ve linked other curve-friendly items below!