I’ve been thinking about putting into words what it feels like to be a size 12 in the body positive movement for months. I’ve started writing this post so many times I wasn’t sure if I’d actually ever write it. Usually, I sit down and the words just spill out of my fingers into the keyboard but for this post…it’s harder.
I started blogging to represent something I felt was missing in media – the middle girl. The girl who grew up in a small town but has dreams of seeing the world (but maybe not sure how to get there because there’s just so much damn corn and cows between her and an international airport.)
The girl who likes cheese and packs weight on her hips and couldn’t fit into those trendy $100 Abercrombie jeans as a teen, much less afford them. The girl whose body type was never spotted in magazines and was represented as the “fat friend” in movies and was late to the game to figure out how to dress cool or wear the appropriate amount of eyeliner and starting feeling like maybe there was something wrong with her body?
Who aren’t overweight by the media’s standards.
But who aren’t skinny by the media’s standards either.
Girls like me. Left in the middle.
The middle girl, who has spent her whole life feeling a little confused about how she should feel about her body or dress her body or talk about her body. When you’re in the middle of skinny and plus-size, do you get to talk about fat problems? Or because you don’t have to buy two airline seats when flying, does that mean you’re not big enough to talk about body issues?
Being a size 12 makes you really fucking confused. And a little guilty. And a little angry.
When I shop online and I see a size 2 model and a plus-size model show off a dress, is it ok that I feel frustrated that I still don’t actually know what that dress will look like on my body type? Or should I just shut up because at the end of the day, my size is still carried in most stores and I’ve never had to personally feel what it feels like to not be able to walk into any mall and find something cute in my size?
The body-positive movement this decade has been revolutionary in the way women are portrayed in media. I’m so incredibly happy that everyone from Netflix casting teams to fast fashion stores have been changing their business models to be more size-inclusive (and more diverse!) Suddenly, not just skinny is being praised, but plus-size is, too! All over mainstream and social media.
I’m going to say it one more time – that is AWESOME. But…I don’t identify with plus size women. But I don’t identify with slim women, either. It has left a gap for girls like me who are in the middle.
As someone in the middle, I’ve been told I’m not fat enough to talk about body image. I’ve been told my life looks great, I shouldn’t complain. That I’m really pretty and I should just shut up. That my thighs aren’t even that big. On the flip side, I’m also regularly told I’m too fat, that I shouldn’t show my body on Instagram because my rolls are disgusting. That I’m a cow.
When you are in the middle, you are left really fucking confused about how you should feel. Should you love your body type or hate it?
I was once approached by a MAJOR fashion brand to walk in their body-positive fashion show. And then, at the last minute, they asked me not to walk because I “wasn’t big enough.“
True story.
That honestly fucked with my head for weeks and still does sometimes. As a body positive blogger, my end goal is for every woman to feel confident in her skin and with herself but I want women to feel like they can do anything. She can travel alone if she wants. She can move to a new city if she wants. She can wear a granny dress if it makes her happy and she can start her own business if that’s what she wants and goddammit, she can still struggle with skin issues at age 27 but that’s ok because I know 4 awesome face masks that will help that shit.
I blog because I have a (mostly) healthy relationship with my body now as an adult but honestly would have benefited so much as a teenager from hearing and seeing and learning from a relatable role model the same age as me. When I was 18 and traveled around Ireland for 2 weeks and literally survived off of Guinness because I was a stupid teenager and dropped 15+ pounds – I felt so fucking amazing. Like I was finally beautiful. And when it came back, I felt not amazing.
But if I’m not “big enough” should I just shut up and stop talking? Am I making it worse for women larger than me? Am I part of the problem?
When I’m told I’m not fat enough to be even talking about body image or fat acceptance…it makes me feel guilty. Because they are right in many aspects. Tomorrow, I can wake up and take a hike up Muir Woods if I wanted to. (Like, I’d be really out of breath but I could do it at a normal-sh pace.)
I could get on a crowded bus and not have to worry about taking up too much space. But knowing I can do that still doesn’t make me feel like I shouldn’t work on losing that 10 pounds I’ve gained this past year. Or make me hate my eczema-riddled skin any less. It doesn’t stop the trolls from sliding into my DMs with hateful messages. It also doesn’t stop the doctors form weighing me and declaring that my BMI is obese or dangerously near obese and then instantly brushing off any health conditions because they think if I just run more everything will be solved.
These days, it feels like you are either praised for being plus size or praised for being skinny/fit, but you aren’t praised for being in the middle.
So, that’s what it feels like to be a size 12 in the body positive movement. Confused about if you are fat or if you are skinny. Happy you aren’t overweight, but a little sad you still don’t look like what media thinks is beautiful and that gets in your head.
Guilty because you recognize you aren’t as heavy as plus-size models but you still have insecurities because you are human, too. Angry that people don’t understand that you can be confident AND insecure at the same time.
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60 comments
Yes to all of this. Your posts are always beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you, Jenn!
Im 5,8 feet and Im a size 14/ 12 I feel like a giant because Im not a skinny tall model, im a normal sized tall women.
It sucks. I hear you, the middle sized women are not catered too.. I mean im a medium mostly, but people think Im a Large. Its so weird.
Thank you for this post.
Right – you’re either “skinny” or “plus size” and I find society wants to put me in one or the other which isn’t correct.
I am in the exact same boat. I’m 5’8 woman, size 14. I feel fat and “huge” then I look towards plus size women and feel left out. I feel the same way about the skinny women. It fucking sucks to be in the middle. I am SOO proud of all the women of all sizes to be seen but especially mid-size women! Thank you soo much for this article I really needed this!💕
You said the words that I have been feeling for years. I’m around an 8/10 and that’s the exact way I’ve felt and I so appreciate you saying it. <3
I just came across this and for the first time since I became a teenager to an adult I feel seen, I feel heard. Thank you for putting this out there, to finally feel seen as a girl in the middle both in body and location!
I’ve felt this way all my life, and it’s great to see that so many other women share this issue with me and that I’m not alone. Thank you for talking honestly about uncomfortable topics.
You are not alone and I am not alone! So happy the age of social sharing can bring us all together.
Kara
I’m a Size 12/13/14…Depending What Brand Jeans & How Stretchy They Are…I Love Womens Jeans….
I know this post is a few years old, but I have to comment. This hits too close to home for me.
I have had customers at my job (Yay, retail life!) compare me to every plus size bleach blonde celebrity, (short of Miss Piggy!!!), because, I’m a bleach blonde… yet not a size 00.
I even had an acquaintance who works at another retail store tell me how she was irritated that the mall’s shopping options for trendy clothes were limited to mainly Express, and that “Express doesn’t make clothes for women our size.”
… I shop Express often and never had an issue with fitting into their clothes.
But apparently I *look* too fat for Express, a store I shop at often, and can fit anywhere from a M-L and up to a 14 there.
Plus sizes are simply too large for me. But I apparently look plus.
I have many plus size friends, and even family members, who I love dearly and think are beautiful just the way they are so me sounding “fatphobic” or being offended when someone compares me to Meghan Trainor or says I’m too big for a certain store, feels like a bad move for me, yet, here I am sadly.
Even had a plus size friend say something like “yeah it would be nice if professional athletes would go for fluffy girls like us”… and my heart shattered. I know she didn’t mean to offend me but… I’m truly a “medium” girl… I’m not plus. Nor am I skinny. But I don’t think I’m fluffy.
I struggled with anorexia and substance abuse in high school, and my lowest (and unhealthiest) weight is still my “goal” and I know it’s unhealthy… but every comment I get about how I look like whatever plus size celebrity with similar hair to mine… everytime someone assumes I can’t fit into a store I shop at often…. every time my friend includes me into being “fluffy”… it triggers me more.
Anyway!!!! Beautiful article!
I identify with this so.hard. Thanks for putting into words exactly what I feel.
I felt like it had to be written! It’s good to hear you found it helpful to read!
Kara
Wow! Well said! Exactly! I’ve been 20+ overweight for about 15 years now. I’m 60 and its so difficult to get it off and keep it off…..well…getting it off is easier than keeping it off. I think about my body every day! Likely much like a man thinks about sex! Thank you, Kathy
So glad I stumbled upon this post! This is needed! I struggle with being in the “in-between” as well! Like, okay, I used to be skinny (but very unhealthy), but I’m not “plus size” so can I have a beautiful shape?! What if I don’t have the ideal curves like larger bodied women? I love that you’re putting this out there and encourages me to accept the body I am in! Thank you!
Katherine, I love what you said here. I feel the exact same way of my shape. Not skinny with tight tummy and a thigh gap, but without the full curves that seem to be praised.
I’m just a normal girl, trying to love myself right where I am and this post helped me a bit in that direction. 🙂
Thank you so much for this post. I know I’m a little late to the party, but it is so helpful to see others vocalizing this frustration.
I was always thin/muscular as a child (my mother was very thin/flat/muscular) and dreamed of one day looking “like a woman” with curves and breasts. Starting high school, I was still quite small, wearing a 00-2 at 5’6” but somehow during health classes, my BMI was always on the high end of overweight. I had no curves, just a lot of muscle. My only saving grace for feeling womanly was my larger booty and thighs. BUT STILL A SIZE 00-2! I still didn’t look like Victoria’s Secret models. I decided to be vegan and have a heavily restricted diet for most of high school despite being in sports year-round. By senior year, I’d developed a tiny amount of curves and finally felt somewhat comfortable in a bathing suit, but still felt too fat in the wrong places. In my early 20s, I shifted to weight training and CrossFit and mostly Paleo diet. While my goals were constantly to lower my body fat percentage, the actual rewards i felt were being strong enough to do things for myself – lift furniture, take out large bags of trash, bound up stairs quickly, etc.
The truth is, I was miserable and deeply self-conscious. I knew that if I ever stopped, my body would gain weight and I was convinced that I wasn’t pretty enough to be bigger and still desirable. My eating patterns were extremely ritualistic with illogical rules and bingeing. Everyone always thought I was just naturally skinny and I felt like a fraud because I actually had to work so hard for it.
Eventually, it caught up with me. Panic disorder, adult-onset asthma, crazy allergies out of the blue, terrible insomnia, and unpredictable IBS. I’d put so much intense pressure and strain on my body and mind that I never got to enjoy how truly healthy I was. My body forced me to stop the unsustainable workload and I started to gain some weight and tried to be gentle with myself. For the first time, I felt like I had some curves. However, the ailments kept coming. Ultimately, I’ve been between 175-195 for the past 4-5 years. I still struggle daily with my appearance but when I try to buckle down and lose weight, I get so deeply depressed and angry, I have to stop. It’s so frustrating to be in the middle. To people you’ve known for a long time, you know you look huge and you know they’re all wondering how you got so big. But for the first time in my life, I’ve gotten to a healthy place with food and exercise. I finally can enjoy healthful foods without it feeling like punishment, and include indulgences without bingeing. I can exercise a moderate amount so I feel strong and get the emotional health benefits without being constantly sore and cold and exhausted.
I am finally happy with how I feel on a daily basis. And that’s all that should matter. My sweetheart enjoys my body, so I try to love it too.
Until I have to shop for bathing suits and remember that somehow I’m an XL…. Despite being an extremely average sized person among everyone I know. BUT! Not visually represented in any way while shopping for clothes. It’s like constantly living in confusion about reality. Wait, am I big? Everyone in this room is taller than me. But I’m an XL? Does my size not actually exist?Bathingsuit XL size is somewhere around 46 -31-42. I have size 36B1/2 bras which fit perfectly. I can also go up to 38C depending on the type of bra. However, at my very very smallest, my waist was 27/28”. So…. Gaining 60lbs and still only being a 31” waist is just not realistic for me. Once again, my size doesn’t exist. In XL bathing suits, my breasts are lost in fabric and the rest looks like sausage casing. Meanwhile, I’m a size 8-10 in pants and go for 12 when I want something loose. Being in the middle is like existing in a parallel universe imposed on this one where in this one, your proportions are against the laws of physics. Except, most women you see are pretty similar proportionally to yourself. It’s so wonderful to live in a time where body positivity is a real movement and plus-sized models are more prevalent and appreciated. It’s also extremely confusing to be neither skinny nor plus-sized.
While helping my (skinny) sweetheart pick out some swim trunks, I noticed that his online shopping experience was a stark contrast to my own. The models for mens swim were almost all very average in size and build and body fat. Gone were the hunky, shredded underwear models. This was dad bods galore – and it was amazing. The mens models ranged in size but most were MIDDLE SIZED. Average body fat, average proportions. It was wonderful, but so extremely infuriating when I showed him the page for womens swim at the SAME STORE – almost all size 00 with 32D breasts with just a couple of plus-size options. All this to say, despite the body positivity movement, women are faced with such strange contrasts in what is acceptable. I have many times broken down and seriously considered plastic surgery just to have proportions that will fit into clothes sizes without always having some part that is too tight or too loose or looks weird.
5’6”, 190lbs, muscular, 40-34-42, size 10 jeans, large/xl tops. Thank you Kara for posting photos because it makes me feel less alone and more valid knowing I look similar to a healthy woman out there. Anyone else out there with these proportions, feeling confused and frustrated, you’re not alone. <3
YES!!! Everything you said was so relatable. I never knew how to identify my body weight, because you’re right. We’re in the middle and it’s just confusing as fuck! I love your mindset, and the way you wrote these beautiful words. We are powerful, beautiful, and real. Love love love ♥️
This is literally me. Literally. Me. I can’t even begin to express how much I identify with this. Thank you.
Same…
Wow I really needed to hear this. Thank you for your words and your beautiful pictures.
This actually captures all of my emotions toward my body as well. In my family I was fat growing up but hitting high school I lost weight. But I wasn’t skinny. My sister has no issues with her weight and is perfect. But I was never that way. I love my body, but I feel like media has shamed it. I’m not skinny, I’m not fat. But you are gorgeous and I’m grateful that I read this. Thank you!
I literally got done working out after a depressing rant concerning the cake I ate (in place of dinner) in my head and then I typed into google : “being a size 12”
And *wallah* here you are, you red haired , fair skinned poetic genie of my confident/ insecure life.
THANK YOU FOR THIS !
I was NEVER able to put into words how I felt about my body but this actually describes it all.
Thanks for your obedience to your talents Ma’am , keep on writing and being yourself ❤️?
Wow just wow. Ive never read anything like this before, I needed to read this. Im a middle girl too. But even when i was at a “healthy” weight I never felt comfortable with myself. It just took me gaining 30 pounds to appreciate how my body was before. Now I’m dieting to get back to what I was before. Sick right? But anyways thank you or this article it’s amazing and so are you.
Yeeeessss
Thank you so so much. I didn’t even know I needed to hear this, but I did. I’m not a plus size, but I’m still overweight and I know the struggle over dropping 10 pounds and feeling beautiful but horrible and then gaining 20 pounds and feeling better but still guilty. I learned to love my body for what it is, but sometimes it gets hard. I’m glad to actually see pictures of a person with nearly the same body type as myself, because yes, bodypositivity is great, but I dont belong to neither side of the movement that is portrayed… so yes. Thank you
If there’s ever anything that I’ve related to, its this!! I’ve fluctuated between sizes 10-14 for as long as I can remember and always felt the same “I’m not plus size so should I be thankful? and i’m also not skinny so should I be sad?” Its so confusing and this just made me feel not so alone in that!
Thanks:)
Sending love to you Courtney!
yes! this is how I’ve felt for so many years. I love that there are plus-size models now! but I would love representation for us “in-betweeners”, too! after all, the best-selling clothes sizes are 8-12.. so how come there are so many of us in real-life and none on catwalks & in magazines? thank you for your post! <3
100% relatable! Thank you!
This right here. <3 thank you for bringing life to what I’ve been feeling but never could put it into words.
I’m so grateful for this. I feel like I’m always just in the middle; too curvy/slightly heavy to be considered slender, but not heavy enough to be seen as plus size. It’s infuriating and the pull to join either camp is strong! I would love to see more media and marketing for the girls in the middle.
This is everything i didn’t know I needed to hear. Thank you ?
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. In the last year I have been anywhere between size 4 and 10 and this “middle” area is so frustrating! You conveyed my thoughts perfectly, thank you!
Yes! This. All of this. Is exactly how I’ve been feeling recently. I’m a size 10/12, a have a belly on me, large thighs, etc. Not plus size but not skinny either. The middle zone is certainly a confuaing place to be. I needed to hear this today, thank you.
Waw! I just stumbled across this, and I’m so happy I did. I have been a EUR 38+ for 5 some years now, and I sometimes feel so alone in the world. I see no one in the media with a body like mine. Every once in a while I search up “outfit ideas for normal women” or “chubby” or “dress for your body type” but my body (small boobs, wide chest, thick atlethic legs, skinny shoulders and chubby arms) is never portrayed anywhere. All I find is plus-size women or skinny women working out, promising I can look like them. They are all beautiful, but what I searched for and needed was a woman I could identify with. It is a real problem, and Im so happy you are sharing about this and posting your amasing pictures! <3 Thank you for putting words to my struggle too!
Oh yeah and btw – that fashion show should have had you on board! I need to see women like you on a runway, that would seriously make my life better! love <3
I can totally relate to your feelings even if if my body is very different from yours. I’m 4’11 and 128 lbs. people see the height OR the weight and say, you’re a size small, you’re “petite” but anything made for typical “petite” women looks very “fat guy in a little coat” on me.
My current measurements are: 37 bust (32D- or 32DDD), 29-31 waist, 39-41 hip and a mom belly that can be up to 37 at its largest point. I’ve got very thick thighs which I love but now a lumpy post C section belly that ruins every style option because it forces me into a swimming sack of a top or yo overflow out of one that fits everywhere else and then come to the realization that nothing is cut or made to fit me. And after growing up and being only 85-95lbs as a teenager and needing to wear children’s sizes (which didn’t fit either because I’ve always had these THICK “woman” hips even though the rest of my body was that of a 10-year old) then becoming a mom twice over and realizing everything about my body has changed (except these hips)and now nothing fits “like it should”, I wonder if I’m just being vain and silly. But going from a size 0 to a size 10 and being child size in height but seeing that the measurements for a “large” and sometimes “xL” match your own but know that the proportions and length won’t, really messes with your mind.
I’m struggle bus with being anywhere close to okay with my body but also am constantly told that I’m crazy and shouldn’t worry because I’m so small yet the only time I felt good in my skin and with my belly was when I was pregnant and actually felt good showing my belly bump. Now I’m trying to wear something other than maternity clothes (my youngest is 21 months), but that’s all that fits.
And being in quarantine now my husband doesn’t get why I still stress over my appearance saying “nobody will see you, it doesn’t matter” and “nobody cares” completely missing the point that I CARE and it matters because I don’t feel good about it. So is it my body or is it just me? I get how frustrating it can be struggle with your body image while also being denied the the right to that feeling.
I am so happy about this post for so many reasons. I am size 8, Brazilian with big butt big thighs and not long legs. I am fashion designer and Always want to have y own swimwear line bcs I wanted to highlight the true beauty, not “perfect Bodies” , my body is perfect btw, I have all I need working perfectly.
So begin of this year when I started design and I said I want to design for Curvy women, people said Oh then you have to do for plus size. I got stressed out because is my first collection I cant afford big orders and I have good experience on Plus fitting but I still don’t think I am quiet there yet. So, after a lot thinking, I said: you know what if 2020 didnt teach me anything else, it teach me that nothing has to be the same, actually all has to be view from a new perspective, So I will launch my first collection in February serving….. Size M-XL, THE MIDDLE WOMAN! I am so happy I found you and found this post! is Heaven confirmation!!!! Do you wanna be my model? I am so excited!!! Thank you for this post!!!! Real woman show up I would love to have you with me in this journey!!!! I a bit passionate for the cause, as you can tell. ok! the end! bye!!!!
Thank you thank you thank you for writing this!!! I am 21 years old, 5’ 2”, and a size 12/14. I have cried and complained to my friends and family because I am a middle size and my body type is never represented in the media. This article just made my whole situation a million times better, so thank you for sharing!! ❤️
After months of noticing my bodily changes, I finally decided to measure up and found out that I’m now a size 12, from maybe a size 4-6 three years ago. My husband would always tell me I am not and I do not look like a plus-size, but I just know and feel that now I cannot fit the regular women sizes unlike before. I feel so confused, I do love my size 12 ass and bust bc I dreamed of this when I was a size 6, so yea I love it, but there are things that I hate like except for the facial fat maybe).
This blog helped me confirm that are women like me who are in the middle, not thin but not too fat. I hope you empower more women like us.
I just wanted to say thank you for this article! I seriously teared up a little when I saw your photos and realized that your body looks a lot like mine.
I think I’m a size 14 right now or so and it just hit me that I’m actually not plus size. I’ve seen mid-size used a lot recently so I think it’s getting a little more attention and that’s super nice. 😊
Yes! Absolutely relate to this, couldn’t have said it better
You said EVERYTHING EXACTLY as I feel. I’m 5’3 185 and a size 12 (NEWLY – like I noticed my jeans 2 days ago were too big) – I work out 5 days a week, and have 2 toddlers I’m constantly chasing – I have an autoimmune disease that causes joint pain, and guess what EVERYONE SAYS – lose weight, work out more…like really? and then I have my supportive work family who are 100% you’re beautiful and why do you work out so much – like YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!
I have big boobs, tiny waist big hips and what I thought were big thighs (but realizing maybe arn’t) and muscular calves – NOONE on ANY clothing websites looks like me EXCEPT 1 – and they do nursing clothes – so guess what I wear a lot of even though I quit breastfeeding like 6 months ago…which is a whole OTHER layer of guilt cuz I know SO MANY moms who are less fortunate who could use these super cute outfits for their intended purpose
GAH!
I totally didn’t mean to rant on your blog, but I feel better knowing someone else knows my stuggle and I kinda exploded – I’m sorry – but I feel better so thank you!
You look AMAZING BTW!
Thank you for this. I needed it. I needed it when I was 14 years ol as much as I need it today at 35.
Sincerely,
The forever “middle” woman
Thank you for your honest take on this. It’s clearly resonated with quite a few of us “middle” ladies and it’s voiced the frustration and guilt I’ve felt for the last few years. When I met my husband (boyfriend at the time) I was about 40 pounds lighter. Almost 3 years later and I’ve done nothing but struggle with this. He’s supportive, but doesn’t understand, as most people I try to talk to don’t. And I try not to hold it against them. It’s ultimately more about me than about them. I should love my body no matter what size it is, but when the world doesn’t show that same love they show skinny girls or big girls it gives me a bit of an existential crisis. Like, should I actually try to be okay with my body or should I try to attain something else?? So, again, thank you for voicing something I’ve felt for a few years now. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one.
Thank you for this. I was directed by my therapist to explore #BodyPositivity but I haven’t been seeing myself represented (white, 45 year old, 5’11” size 18). I recognize the privilege in being able to say I made it to my 40s before realizing I was being erased from society and that I didn’t start out erased to begin with. I will continue my search so that I can have a better understanding of my unique body, but in the meantime, I really needed the validation that your post offered.
I can absolutely relate! As someone who’s been between size 10-14 for most of my adult life, I have felt all of these things so many times. I still struggle at time with body image, but I’m trying hard to feel sexy in my skin regardless of size. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully, and I’m so glad I found Whimsy Soul- it makes me so happy!
Just finding this post but I greatly appreciate it. I feel and can relate to everything you’ve said here.
I came out of BOOTCAMP as a size 12, Followed by them telling me I was fat. For SIX years. Right, why didn’t they kick me out? Because being a size 12 doesn’t make you fat. Lots of people get kicked out of the navy for being fat, but not ladies who are 5’6” and a size 12.
How’s that for objectivity?
After reading your post and the comments, I feel compelled to also comment.
When I was growing up, I was told that I take after my maternal grandmother AND my dad’s sister. Both of whom appeared to be bigger ladies. My grandma would always say that “once you get into L and XL, they just don’t make clothes that look good in those sizes.” So I learned how to sew and realized that those clothing manufacturers didn’t know what they were doing. Now that being said, in the past 10 to 15 years, size 12 and up fashions have really changed and risen to meet demands. Really, clothing is better than ever.
However, one thing I’ve learned in my 52 years is that self acceptance is one of the keys to happiness and success. When I see your lovely pics, I see someone who has healthy bones and muscles and who probably doesn’t ask for help carrying shit to the car or moving a piece of luggage. I see independence and freedom and liberty!
Ladies, seriously, F**K the ever changing opinions of the vamps we all love and focus on keeping yourself healthy. Admire what you will, but be rooted in reality. 40 years later and I’m seeing the truth about size 6 and under after 20 years old. My mom has osteoporosis and heart and lung problems from all the things she’s done to herself just to have a little girl’s body against all odds. I’ve stayed healthy all my life allowing my body to change but always maintaining strength and healthy diet and exercise. And sure, at times struggling with self-acceptance while my family compares me to my sick mom. Be smart and get your DNA reports to know what’s right for you. And once you have a complete picture of DNA + your own family history + your own desires, then decide what’s right for you and always accept your self and the consequences of your choices.
You, Whimsy Soul, are starting the movement. If you feel strongly about Middle Girl sizing positivity, then create your movement around that.
…know what would be great? if sizes were not called “12”, “00”, “22” or “6”, but instead were conceptualized and called “moonlight”, “whisper “, “butterfly” or “sunbeam”. (OK, I got a little hippie in me growing up in the 70’s.)
THANK YOU for starting the discussion and bravely putting yourself out there. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you.
Great words for such a crummy feeling we middle-ings harbor at times. The social media juxtaposition of underweight/overweight leaves us out of the literal pictures.
I feel this so much. I’m 6’0 size 12, 19 years old and i’ve been a volleyball player my whole life. I spent every moment with my teammates comparing myself to them. Never feeling like the token “fat girl” but never being skinny enough. My height and my curves were always envied but nobody every wanted to look like me. I was shunned by friends for complaining because I didn’t have it as bad as them, but was never accepted into the “it” crowd either. I never felt confident, yet wasn’t allowed to feel insecure.
Thank you!! Love this post it is everything I feel!
I went shopping at Macy’s the other day and the only clothes that came even close to fitting me were marked as XL. What? I’m a size 12! When did size 12 become XL? I though 10 was Med? I think it’s a way to get us to keep consuming to in order to make us feel better about ourselves. I completely agree that I rarely see someone my size in the media. They are perfectly fit, skinny or about a size 16+.
Wow, I’m amazed I’m not the only one who thinks I’m okay in my weight, I’m 5’11 195, size 12 , I have skinny legs but I have a belly, I wear 1x in shirts or xl, I used to be a toothpick till I was 25, and weighed 125, now I always wonder if I’m normal or overweight the older I get!?!
Honestly love this. I’m in a weird place right now. Ive ranged in my lifetime from a size 6 to a size 26 in my lifetime, and never really been happy with my bod. I’m solidly a 10/12 right now after maintaining a size 8 for about 10 years….and I feel huuuuge. Which really makes no sense considering most my life I wore size 20+. I love the body positivity movement, and honestly I think woman with curves are my attractive….unless we are talking about me. Why is it that I can love all women’s bodies except my own? Why do someone else rolls are fine, and my own are grotesque? Oh to be happy in my own skin. I’m so happy for those who can be. You are beautiful ❤️
I am slowly healing in my thirties from a lifetime of body dysmorphia and this article- just as others have said-puts all my scattered and emotionally driven thoughts into a logical, concise and reasonable explanation, so thank you. I wish I could send this beautiful piece to my 13 year old self.
This is perfect a view I’ve always held yet never had courage to shout from the rooftop!! Wow the 15 year old in my 37 year old body just cried a happy cry
Thank you for this!
Crying! Beautifully put! Thank you 💕😭